Friday, July 17, 2009

Getting to Know You

Welcome, dear reader. Come in, sit down, have a mug of coffee or a cup of tea. Find a comfy spot and read a while, rest, open your mind, and maybe find thoughtful contemplation. Everyone is welcome here. You stay may be as long, or brief as you feel necessary for your journey. While you are here, it is my sincere hope that you find a bit of what you need and leave some of your care and dead weight behind.

Today, I want to talk to you about getting to know yourself. If you are of my generation, you were very likely raised in an environment where sex was not spoken of, and self exploration was a sin. While our parents did us no favors, they had nothing to draw on themselves. The good news is, every day is a new day and you can make a new choice. If you are in limbo with who you are, and what you need, it's time to make a change. If you have daughters, you especially owe it not only to yourself, but them, to get to know yourself, and become comfortable with who you are and what it is that you need; on every level.

What is it going to take, personally, for you to let go and give yourself permission to court yourself? What is it going to take to convince yourself that you are worth getting to know? What is it going to take to allow yourself to believe that getting to know what your needs are is indeed important and paramount to your happiness? You know that if you don't know what it is that you want, what you need, and what you desire, you are likely to end up in an un-fulfilling relationship?

You are asking yourself why you would end up in an empty relationship. I know you are, and my friend, it is really quite simple. If you don't know what will please you, how can you expect someone else to know what will please you?

Are you mentally lonely? Do you feel like you have lost all hopes and dreams? If so, you are dying. A life without learning and interests to stimulate your brain is a walking death. You were created for a purpose and unless you pursue discovering your gifts and purpose, you have no life. It may take time, but explore. Get to know what it is that you are interested in; dig out old dreams and passions you may have sacrificially lain aside...Read, surf the web, join an interest group that catches your attention; volunteer to do something you have never done before. Sooner or later, something will capture you. When it does, it will give you new strength. Involving yourself in the groups will also take care of emotional loneliness.

Feeling physically isolated? Your innermost needs and desires put on a shelf and left to gather dust? Stop waiting! Until you can love yourself, no one else will either! What makes you feel loved? Do you know? Maybe it's time you find out. You don't need a lot of money. What you do need is patience with yourself and a little creativity. Perhaps even some gentle, affectionate nudge in the right direction.

Give yourself a gift. The best one is to take yourself out to dinner and really treat yourself! It does not have to be some fancy 5 Star destination like The French Room at the Hotel Adolphus, just something that you like. Even if it's as simple as buying yourself an appetizer and a glass of wine at a place you've never tried before. When you love your surroundings, feel relaxed and pampered, you will be amazed at how little food it takes to help you feel satisfied.

How about a bath with a few candles? Add a little soft music, a favorite book, a nice beverage, and voila! You have a wonderful self indulgence. While you are there, do yourself a favor. Softly, gently soap your body. Take your time and notice how your skin feels. Is it soft? How would you describe it? Focus on the feeling; wordlessly tell yourself how much you appreciate every inch of your skin as you describe it to yourself. Notice your curves. They are special curves; unique only to you. Whatever shape they are presently, they are yours and your deserve for them to be loved; from the inside out. Let your fingers gently trace them and get to know them. There is not a part of your body that does not deserve to be touched by you...Appreciated by you.

Have you ever looked at yourself? Examined yourself? You are beautiful! Every single part of you is simply amazing. You need to see you; every bit of you. The warmth of a bath, or the soft, cool comfort found in the sheets of your bed. Take a hand mirror. Lightly, reverently open yourself; smooth back the petals and look. This is you; the core of your intimate self. Take all the time in the world that you need to touch, explore. There is not-one-thing wrong or unholy about it. God created this part of you too. Get to know it as well as you know your face, and understand what pleases you. It won't happen all in one day, evening, moment, but with time and multiple "dates," you can change the course of your own life. Understand more about what it is that you need and open yourself up to desires that perhaps you've never known you've had before. Find a tasteful, discreet toy site. I highly suggest: Eden If you are not experienced in the art of self love, then start slow, read, do your homework, as for advice, and don't be afraid to experiment. You need this. It is one of the most healing powers I have come to know.

I, dear reader am on the journey too. Let's travel together. Every moment is the beginning of a new day.
Until we read again~

1 comment:

  1. Along for the journey and the ride my sister. Well done. Well spoken and eloquent as usual, we are all on this road together. I could not have a better travel companion.